Conversations With Crayton and Piper

Tonight during scriptures Crayton and Piper had a conversation that was quite funny. Just a little side note. Lately there has been an exhasperated tone in many a conversation between the two of them. Everything seems to end in "a." Like the "u" in umbrella. example: Crayton-a! Piper-a! Mommy-a tell him to stop-a! It went like this:

Piper: I had a dream of Heavenly Father

Daddy: What was it like?

Piper: He hugged me and told me that He loves me.

Crayton: Did he tell you that He doesn't like the way that you fight with your brother and that pretty much all of the fights with your brother are all your fault?

Piper: Crayton-a! That wouldn't be Heavenly Father. It would be Santa. (eye roll and exit stage)

Crayton + Mommy = True Love Always

Yesterday I was putting clothes away in Lennon's room and Crayton came in and walked over to me and puckered up. I bent down and gave him a kiss and he embraced me wholeheartedly. He was squeezing so tight. It was one of those moments as a mom where you think "what would I ever do without this amazing little person?" He, during this lengthy squeeze, said "mmm...mommy I could just hug you until the second coming!" Then we heard the doorbell and he darted out yelling "Oma (grandma) and Papa are here!!!!" So, until the second coming...or until Grandma and Grandpa come over.

Nat in Victim Mode

I just found this journal entry this morning. It made me laugh. Keep in mind that when I wrote it I was pregnant and apparently very hormonal. Sit back and enjoy reading "Natalie, the Victim."

journal entry 1/31/07

Poor me, poor, poor me. Ryan is in Las Vegas and I am home in a very messy house. I am in such a mess that I don’t even know where to begin to get out of it. The nesting urge kicked in Monday morning and reared it’s ugly big old head and then as quickly as it came it left and left me in the middle of a nesting mess. The mess started in my closet, spread to my laundry room, under my bed, tore through my dresser and veined out into every other orifice in my home causing my counter tops to go un-wiped, the floor to go un-vaccuumed and the house to generally go unkempt. We look like we have been robbed. All the while Ryan is off in Vegas having a grand old time eating out at fine restaurants, seeing fun sights, sleeping in a hotel, wiping only his butt, feeding only his face and filling only his brain with information and knowledge. Selfish though it may seem for me to be bothered by this, I am. Maybe because I really need some alone time. Not just the alone time where the kids are in bed and not needing anything but the alone time where I am really completely-by-myself, all alone, can keep the noise level at what ever decibel I so choose for an extended (meaning days) period of time ALONE. Then I think about this and get a little bit bitter all over because I would want to spend all of that alone time cleaning because it needs to be done and that isn’t fair. Why can’t I go to Vegas and eat at fun places, see fun sights, shower with no one watching, care about the cleanliness of only my own rear end, and fill my brain with knowledge, sweet knowledge? Because who would clean the house? That’s why. How would it be to leave for a trip without thinking about anyone but me? That is exactly what he got to do on Monday. He didn’t have to think about laundry being caught up or the house being clean, lunches being made, pantry being stocked. He packed his little bag and put it in the car. The end. That’s it. Packed a bag. And what does the rest of Ryan’s week look like? FUN. Where will I be during all of this fun? Here. Wondering how my house got this messy and what in the world to do about it. Wondering when I will get that extended time period a fore to mentioned that I so desperately need. So here I sit, typing away, not cleaning, cutting off my nose to spite my own face just because I feel like poor me, poor, poor me.

Just Three Words...

We just returned from a trip to Mexico. Let me first say that in spite of the upcoming rant, we (Ryan and I) really did have a great time together. Crue was amazing and the friends that we were with were also great! Having prefaced with that info...let me begin. Mexico is dirty. Maybe that is a broad generalization and feel free to rebuke. Actually, don't rebuke me. It's my blog and I think that Mexico is dirty. I am not, however, closed to experiencing other areas of Mexico. Maybe the 3 that I have been to so far are not reflective of the true Mexico experience. It's a possibility. At least our hotel was clean. The all inclusive food was HORRIBLE but they had a soft serve ice cream machine that was a godsend. We would have withered away to nothing were it not for that blessed piece of machinery. Actually, on every menu I managed to find a little something deep fried to almost satisfy my palate. I know, refined palate. Don't judge. I could go on and on about my thoughts on parasitic water, rocky beaches, poverty stricken folks that are forced to be relentless and not ever take no for an answer just to make ends come close to meeting, a psychotic taxi driver that had no regard for the lives of the Americans whom he was driving to the "mall", the "mall", did I mention bad food?, full-on extortion at the airport by a US Airways employee, really hard beds, pools that close at 7:00!!! (not a big deal to some, but when you don't drink swimming is about the only thing to do after dark). I could dwell on those things but I won't. I could add more, but I won't. I will say this. I love to go on vacation and in spite of the a fore mentioned negatives I really did have fun. I got an absolutely amazing massage, saw beautiful scenery, held hands with Ryan, (at home with 4 kids and crazy schedules that doesn't happen very often), ate mango that was to die for, got some alone time with Crue, met great people, read a book, the snack mix on the plane is my favorite (again, refined palate. Don't judge), got to brush up on my Espanol (really I just got to say "gracias" and "no gracias" a lot) and got to talk about natural childbirth on the beach -2 of my most favorite things (thanks Brittney). So while Mexico isn't my favorite place on earth, as long as you are with good people and the weather is nice there is fun to be had. So to sum it all up, just three words: God bless America!!! And you thought I was going to say "viva la mexico!" No way, Jose.

Life Is Beautiful

What a life! I am constantly reminded what an amazing life I get to wake up and live every single day. Today is one of those days where it feels like roses are blooming in my path. No particular reason. Things are just good. The kids and Ryan slept out on the trampoline last night- so fun. They woke up at the crack of dawn and started jumping and laughing and feeling so excited about the exotic location of their previous night's slumber. I woke to those joyful little creatures squealing in delight (so did the neighbors...oops!) and felt the cool morning breeze through my open windows and knew that today was going to be good. So a list I give to you. A list of the goodness of my day so far.

1. I got the whole bed to myself last night. (Don't want to make it a habit, but every once in a while it's nice)

2. The weather is AMAZING!

3. The kids aren't fighting

4. Ryan walked around all morning in his jammie bottoms that make his little rear look so cute

5. Crue pooped (finally!!!)

6. I found a note in the den today to Crayton from Piper that said "From Piper to Crayton I love the way you are treating me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

7. Crayton kissed Piper's hand this morning as they were cuddling for warmth and told her he loved her so much

8. Crue has a new bumbo and when he sits in it we get to laugh at how cute he is with his big little noggin (i'll post a pic when I can figure somethings out with my blog)

9. The kids and I made our favorite chocolate chip banana bread and ate it up while still piping hot.

10. I received telephone greetings from Jenn, Ahlena, my little mama, and my sweet little brother (actually I called him but still...)

11. Our little 2 year old angel, Lennon, finally has taken "butt crack" off of her list of names to call both friend and foe. (That took a little help from the Irish Spring leprechaun)

12. Every single one of the little monkeys are down for naps or having quiet time so you could hear a pin drop in my house right now.

13. Ryan left for work later than normal today so we got him clear until 8:45am!

14. We've all laughed together today. Once because of #11, but that was our final giggle about Lennon's foul mouth. (ya, right!)

15. I get to get ready for a trip this coming Monday to go here

16. And get ready for a trip here, tomorrow

Really, does it get any better than this? I think tomorrow I'll do my part to see that it does. Life is beautiful.

FRIEND. GOOD. -Frankenstein

Thank you, Binghams for a lovely, lovely evening! We love you!

I can express no kinder sign of love, than this kind kiss. -Shakespeare

A child is a is a beam of SUNLIGHT from the Infinite and Eternal. -Lymon Abbott

The greatest poem ever known Is one all poets have outgrown: The poetry, innate, untold, Of being only four years old. -Christopher Morley When I grow up I want to be a little boy. -Joseph Heller
Children's games are hardly games. Children are never more serious than when they Play. -Montaigne

Youth! Stay close to the young, and a little rubs off. -Alan Jay Lerner

There is a garden in Every childhood, an enchanted place where colors are brighter, the air softer, and the morning more fragrant than ever again. -Elizabeth Lawrence

Expectations and Inspirations

Last night on the way home from Ryan's parents house, Ryan and I were talking about some areas in our lives that we can improve and do better. At first, I was inspired. Inspired to be a better wife and mother. A better me. During the conversation I even offered to start ironing Ryan's shirts so as to simplify his life!!! (I only iron on an as needed basis and I have a policy of only ironing my own clothes and now that we have children, theirs. Theirs, only because of complete helplessness at the current stages of their young lives). I digress...I OFFERED TO IRON WITH SINCERITY OF HEART! I really meant it. Note: he declined my offer. Hallelujah because today I am not feeling so inspired to iron. Anyways, by the end of our conversation last night I came to the realization that it is going to be impossible to live up to my own expectations of perfection and went to bed feeling really overwhelmed and frustrated at my lack of ability to create perfection for my husband, self and children. Note: Ryan lovingly warned me to stop the conversation long before I did because he knows that I always do this to myself. To sum it up, I was completely uninspired and overwhelmed. Well, this morning I awoke with a new fervor to do just a little bit better. I said a quick prayer (improvement already) and asked Heavenly Father to provide me with some inspiration for the day and He said that He would, after I read my scriptures for 5 minutes. Okay. I can do that. Improvement #2. So I read my scriptures and had some insights and felt great. Next came the promise of inspiration from a very loving Father in Heaven. I sat down to the computer to try and fix my email that all got erased (addresses included so please send me your email address because I do not have any of them memorized) and my eyes drifted over to a book on my shelf. I opened somewhere in the middle and here is what I read:

Many of us mistakenly think that lowering our expectations means we must surrender our dreams. Absolutely not. Dreams and expectations are two very different things. Dreams call for a leap of faith, trusting that Spirit (God) is holding the net, so that you can continue in the re-creation of the world with your energy, soul, gifts, and vision. Expectations are the emotional investment the ego makes in a particular outcome: what needs to happen to make the dream come true. The ego's expectations are never vague...Your dreams must manifest EXACTLY as the ego imagines or someone isn't going to be very happy. And guess who that is? The ego! Since none of us can always predict either the future or the best outcome for our authentic path, this kind of thinking is self-destructive. Because if we don't live up to the ego's expectations, we've failed again. And at some point we really DO give up.

The passionate pursuit of dreams sets your soul soaring; expectations that measure the dreamer's success tie stones around your soul. I don't think we should just lower our expectations; I believe if we truly want to live a joyous and adventurous life, we should relinquish them. Living your life as a dreamer and not as an "expector" is a personal declaration of independence. You're able to pursue happiness more directly when you don't get caught up in the delivery of the details. Dreaming, not expecting, allows Spirit (God) to step in and surprise you with connection, completion, consummation, celebration. You dream. Show up for work. Then let Spirit (God) deliver your dream to the world.

So there you have it. Expectations. Who needs them? Certainly not me. They obviously make me feel the way I felt last night. So today I am going to take His advice and untie the stones from around my soul and declare myself a dreamer. A dreamer of a clean house, yummy food, happy children, and ironed shirts. Notice that I didn't say who would be ironing them. This no expectation thing is fun already.

Blog Vomit

Catchy title wouldn't you say? I have had writer's block this week. My previous posts have been results of me sitting down to the computer with no expectation and typing whatever comes to mind. Nothing has been coming to mind the past few days. I think that it is because I think that I need to think about what to write. I have decided that writing, for me, is like throw up. I have no control what comes out and I can't worry about offending others or being judged for my thoughts and words. If you've gotta puke, you've gotta puke, right? No one will think less of you for it, (unless you do it on purpose, in which case, is gross and uncalled for). So having said that, if I need to write, I need to write., I am not going to think about it anymore. So, readers beware. My mind is no longer going to be weighed down with wonder or worry about what might come out of my mouth (keyboard) next. One day may be inspirations, next, irritations, after that...politics. Just kidding. You won't catch me soon talking politics. It won't happen. So sit back and prepare to be entertained, mystified, disturbed and otherwise captured by my thoughts...a.k.a. my blog vomit.