Quite Possibly My Longest Post Ever.

So far I have let Crayton’s birthday, Ryan’s birthday, and Lennon’s birthday go unmentioned on this blog.  However, there is a holiday that I can’t let go by without a mention.  This weekend we celebrated our 11^th anniversary. This post is purely for journaling purposes and might annoy, bore, or otherwise you to death.  Feel free to skip if you'd like. 

To celebrate we decided to just go out to dinner.  We tried out a new restaurant that Ryan heard had really great food.  It was authentic Italian fare and by the time that we left I was pretty sure that our waiter had called in a favor to his friends in the Italian mafia to put an end to our lives.  If you are going to go to Tutti Santi DO NOT tell the waiter that you will have soft drinks instead of anything off of their extensive and I’m sure amazing wine list, split your meal, and/or pass on dessert.  He will surely throw your check at you and glare at you with his hands on his hips as you exit (quickly) the restaurant.   The food was really, really good but the fun of our evening didn’t start fully until we left.  After we left, we went outside and walked around in the amazing Arizona spring night air.  If you haven’t breathed it in, you’re missing out on one of life’s greatest pleasures.  After walking around for a bit, we began a conversation inspired by a blog that I was reading last week.  What did we ever do before blogs?  I think that we might change the following inspirational questions up a bit and make it a yearly tradition.  And now, sit back and eat some popcorn while you eaves drop on ‘He Said, She Said 2009’.

1. What is your greatest hope or dream?

He said:  To raise kids to have testimonies and be HAPPILY married to good people.  And to have a cabin.

She said:  To raise our family to truly and unconditionally love each other and enjoy each other.  To each be genuinely happy.  And also to be a more structured person living a more structured life.

2.  What do you enjoy the most about your life right now? 

He said: The kids and you. 

She said:  The kids and you too. 

3. What do you enjoy the least about your life right now?

He said:  how much I am working and the stress of my job.

She said: how much you are working and the stress of your job.  Also, the stomach ache that is setting in from eating lettuce at Tutti Santi’s.  (and then we laughed and then he confessed that that was also on his list) Also, my lack of structure. 

4. What would your dream job be if you could do anything and get paid for it?

He Said:  To live in the mountains and raise Elk. 

She said:  To be sold for killing? 

He said:  Yep. 

She said:  Seriously?  That would be your dream?  Of everything that you could do, that’s what you’d pick?  Why not raise elk to be observed and loved? 

He said:  Okay, some would be like pet elk and the others would have to be sold. 

She said (while rolling her eyes and shaking her head):  Oh, Ryan. 

He said:  Anyways…what would you’re your dream job be?

She said:  Well…I would want whatever it was to be in the mountains.   Remember when Jenn and Ahlena took me out to lunch for my birthday?  And I told you about how the place that we went to had a little farm and a garden and artists could go there and be inspired and learn and teach their trade?  And it made me really happy to be there?  I think I would like to do something like that.  But I want to inspire and uplift others and so maybe I would like to be a motivator of some sort.  But I want to be a midwife really bad too.  So I guess my dream job would be a Motivational Farmer Gardner Midwife in the mountains…or on the beach.   (and that is why Ryan finished college and provides for our family and I dream via pipes).

Then we laughed at me. 

5.What are some things that you've always wanted to do but haven't had the opportunity yet?

He said:  Go hunting in Alaska.  Teach my kids how to ride motorcycles and quads.  Have a cabin in the mountains.

She said:  Deliver a baby.  Be structured.

Then we decided together to add going to Europe to our list.

Then Ryan passed a little gas and apologized because it wasn’t planned.  “Sorry babe.  The lettuce.”  And then we laughed at him.

6. What three things would you like to do before the next year passes? 

He said:  Get in better shape. Hang some pictures in our house and get more organized.

She said: Do some decorating.  And get a smoking hot bod.  {enter in laughter}  Okay, just maybe do some sit ups. And get more structured.

7. Who do you feel the most "safe" being with? Why?

He said:  You.  Definitely.  Because you love me.

She said: Yeah, you too.  Because you love me even though you know me and all of my faults and weaknesses.

8. If you could have lunch with anyone in the world, who would it be and why?

She said:  And you can’t say Jesus, because that’s a given.

He said:  Bill Gates.  He seems to have figured out things that most can’t.  He’s successful and has a balance between what matters like charity work and being driven to be a success.

She said:  No question, Dolly Parton.  She’s always been constant on my ‘go out to lunch with’ list. 

He said [while laughing]: Dolly Parton?  Why?

She said:  I’ve always enjoyed her disposition.  She is deeply spiritual, successful, happy, beautiful, creative, and genuine.  I think I would like her and I could learn a lot from her.

9. When was the last time you felt filled with joy?

He said: I feel joy right now.  I guess just anytime that I am with you and the kids.  I love being together as a family.  It feels good to spend any time together.  Our trip to Florida was a really good time for me.  I loved that trip.

She said: I feel joy right now in this moment too but it’s in the back of mind that I can’t completely be joyful because we have to take the kids home and unload the car and tuck them in and get drinks of water and read a story and say prayers and all of that stuff that makes me tired.  I really want to work on that though.  I want to learn to find joy in even those moments that wear me out because this is the happiest time of our lives and I want to embrace all of it.  Even the mundane. 

He said:  yeah, I can see that.   I agree, that’s something we could work on. 

She said:  The time that stands out most to me of feeling full of joy was right after Lennon was born.  It was right before you changed jobs.  We knew change was coming but it was the calm before the storm.  And having a new baby in our home who had such a strong spirit was a really, really amazing time for me. We all, you, me, Crayton and Piper all just soaked up every ounce of her.  It was a fun time.

10. If you had to give away a million dollars, who you give it to?

He said: I’d give it to the church.  I trust that they would distribute it properly. 

She said: I’d give it to my dad.  He grew up with so little and has always been so generous wit h what he has now.  I’d love to see him have fun with money.  He could fix up his El Camino, give it away to who ever he saw fit.  My dad is always sensitive to other people’s needs and I really trust that he would be able to have fun with it and let it do good for a lot of people.

11. What are three things that I do that you really like?

He said: You’re really thoughtful of me and other people.  I love that you teach our kids to appreciate my hard work.  And neither of us can remember the third thing…

She said:  I really need a tissue.  This cold is driving me nuts.  Hang on one second while I run into Juice Bar and get a napkin.  Then she came back and wiped her nose and Ryan was inspired to reenact this Bachelor moment.  One of the more awkward moments in television history, I’m certain.  And then we laughed.  And then she said:  I love what a hard worker you are.  I love that when one of the kids does something funny or cute, you try to show me or catch my eye so that we can privately giggle about it without them knowing that they are doing something funny.  It makes me happy to see you find so much joy in the little things that they do, even after four kids.  And I love most that you are the most uncritical person that I know.  You are never looking to criticize anyone.  You appreciate people and are never quick to find fault.

He said: Thanks.

She said: No, thank you.

12. What are three things that I do that drive you nuts?

He said:  Um…your side of the closet drives me nuts.  I need a little bit more structure over there. [long pause…] Oh, I have one!  When we have company over, I wish that you would let me sit down and not work until the y get there.  [she tried to interrupt here but was silenced with his eyebrow raise].  [long pause…] This is hard Babe.  I guess you don’t bug me.  Um….I guess the third thing would be that you get irritated at me when I work too much.  Not that I don’t understand where you’re coming from and you’ve been doing lots better but I guess that is one thing.  Oh, and letting the laundry get backed up too much and I have to search for socks and underwear every morning.

She said:  When you leave the ironing board out every morning.  That drives me crazy.  When I have to ask you your schedule every single day because you never will just tell me when you’re coming home.  It would be great if you said “bye, see you at 6:00!”  or “I won’t be home in time to help with getting ­­­­­­­­­­­__________taken care of.”  And I just have to guess.  I know it isn’t that big of a deal, but it bugs me a little.  And it drives me nuts that you won’t drink enough water. 

13. What have I done in the past that made you feel loved?

He said:  When I’m having a busy day and you ask what you can do for me to make it easier.  Like when you take care of scouts for me. 

She said:  I feel loved when you notice the things that I do and say thanks.  Like when you are grateful when the yard is done when you come home.  I guess just any compliment or show of gratitude makes me feel like you love me. 

14. What have I done that made you feel unappreciated?

He said:  um….not really anything.  I guess just when you’re bugged that I’m working late. 

She said: When you don’t compliment me or notice my hard work. 

15.What are three things I can work on?

We both said: refer to #12

16. Of the following items, what would make you feel the most love?

a. Having your body massaged for an hour

b.Sitting and talking for an hour about your favorite subject

c. Having help around the house for the afternoon

d.Receiving a very nice gift

e. Hearing encouragement about how appreciated you are

He said: E

She said: E

17.What things in the past do you wish could be erased from ever happening?

He said: nothing.

She said: nothing.  

18. What is the next major decision that you think the Lord would want us to make as a couple?

He said: To stop being mediocre.  

She said[nodding]:  That’s a good one.  I’m going to say that He’d want us to decide whether or not we’re supposed to have another baby.

19. What would you like your life to look like five years from now?

He said: Not much different.  A little less work. 

She said: Not much different, but a lot more structure.

20. What words would you like to hear from me more often?

He said: Babe, why aren’t you naked yet?!?

And then we laughed really loud and the valet parker stopped setting up cones and stared at us. 

She said: Compliments.  My job as a mom is sometimes thankless.  It means a lot to me when I hear that you are grateful for me or think that I look nice or am doing a good job.  It’s in a sense kind of like my paycheck. Certainly not the reason that I do the job, but a nice perk every now and then.

We had fun doing this together.  We laughed a lot and I had some [happy] teary moments having and taking the opportunity to tell Ryan about things that are close to my heart.  We went back to my parent’s house to pick up the kids and it was perfect to end the evening driving away from their house just like we did 11 years before on our wedding night.  This time we had a lot more cargo than just our honeymoon bags.  We had hearts clear full of experiences that have drawn us closer and tested our love time and time again.  We also had four sleeping babies that depend on our love for each other.  They all needed to be carried up to bed and on our anniversary night it was very easy for me to find a lot of joy in carrying up and tucking in and  and whispering ‘I love you’s’.  It’s all a lot of work but mothering them and being his wife are gifts that I try not to take for granted.  Happy anniversary to us!  I love you Ry!  Here’s to 11 bajillion more.