Huh???

Lennon:  Mommy, do I get to go to kindergarten today?

Mom:  No.  When you are done with one more year of preschool then you can go to kindergarten. 

Lennon:  Oh no!!!  There isn’t even a kindergarten on the street where I need a kindergarten to be! 

Mom:  Huh?

Lennon:  Mom, there isn’t even one single one. We have to move to a place where I can go to my kindergarten!  (jazz hands, huge eyes)

Mom:  Lennon, there are lots of schools here.  We don’t have to move. 

Lennon:  Mom, I’m serious!  We have to move.  Who lived in this house before us?  The Press-u-lee’s?  Where did they move to?  Is there a kindergarten there? (chicken neck out, still jazz hands, eyes continue to be huge)

Mom:  There is a kindergarten where they moved and they moved to Idaho.

Lennon:  So they’re bad guys?  And so they have big noses?

Mom:  Huh? (my own chicken neck out, face twisted)  No.  Lennon, the Pressley’s don’t have big noses.  They have very normal little noses.  They were our friends.  We love the Pressley’s, hunny. 

Lennon:  Yah, mom, they’re bad guys and have big noses and I found a booger on the wall in my bathroom and they put it there even.  I know it.  (exits stage muttering about boogers, bad guys, kindergarten and other things on her busy little beautiful mind.)

Mom:  Huh???

 ***(Press-u-lee’s please don’t take any thing personally that she saysJ.  She really is in her own little world where Idaho breeds bad guys, boogers and big noses.)  

And The Winner Is...

Janaya!!!

It was a really sophisticated method of picking.  It went like this: "Pipes, pick a number between 1 and 32."  "Why?" "Just hurry, you're late."  "Mom, tell me why." "Pipes, pick a number."  "Fine, 20." Thanks to all who left such

 wonderful comments and ideas for me to get

 my rear in gear and enjoy this

 journey!  I took some of your advice and took some 

time to jump on the trampoline with my kids.

I decided to forgo the after 

pictures.  It did get done.  Not

 perfectly, but I am okay with

 that. Instead, I will leave you with pictures of my little man.

He makes me smile. A lot. 

***And by the way...JeffryG., turns out, is someone I know.  Oops.  I don't know him well enough to know that his name is Jeffry G. but I do know him well enough to know that he is a great dad to a lot of great kids and a great husband to a wonderful woman.   He was joking.  If I had known it was him, I would have just laughed.  Because he's funny too.  Sorry JeffryG.  Next time I'll know.

Spiraling. And I Am Not Talking About a Perm (and a giveaway)

I don’t know what happened.  This weekend things spiraled.  Downward.  I loafed around here in my pajamas working on my young women’s lesson, took care of basic hygiene and feeding of myself and family.  Ran errands and ended up at the park on Saturday night.  No where along the way did I even try to keep things picked up and the results are U.G.L.Y. 

This morning Crue woke up way too early (5:45 early) and I went to bed last night at midnight because I chose to sacrifice sleep in the name of A Very Duggar Wedding.  What is wrong with me???  This morning I am feeling a little unmotivated.  But I just took a shower and while I was showering I was wondering what on earth would motivate me to dig out of the mess that myself and my family created for ourselves.  I decided that maybe if company were coming I might pick things up.  I say might because I don’t even pick up for my in-laws anymore.  I stopped doing that, years ago.  They still come so it must not bother them too much.  Nor do I pick up when my visiting teachers come.  What are they going to do?  Stop coming?  They can’t.  I’m their assignment.  They’re trapped.  Most of the time I am embarrassed deep down.  Or am I?  (thinking…) Not so much.

Now back to my showering pep talk.  Notice that I didn’t say I’d spring clean if company were coming.  I said I’d pick up.  That is what I hope for today.  A good, solid pick-up.  The problem…how do you motivate yourself to pick up when company isn’t really coming at all and your head is spinning from the katzenjammer you got stuck with when you virtually attended the rockin party with the Duggars last night and stayed up WAY passed (or is it past?) your bed time?  

I have decided that I am going let you help me.  Don’t you feel special?  There is something in it for you too.  I am taking you on a room by room tour of the messes (that isn’t your prize).  I have shown you the before picture.  I am not pre-picking up.  You are going to get the real deal.  Refrain from judging (Matthew 7:1-2).  Your job today is to motivate me to keep digging.  Send me your funniest, most uplifting, motivating thought, quote or nicety.  Now a moment of clarification…while I am not embarrassed by the mess, I am embarrassed by the fact that my house is still not even close to decorated or personalized in any way, shape, or form.  It will change.  I am just waiting for my mojo to come to me.

Tomorrow night by midnight I will do a random draw and the winner will receive a $20 Target Gift card along with the same treat that I will treat myself with tonight when I have completed my clean.  I don’t know what it is yet, but most likely (okay definitely), it will involve chocolate. 

Official instructions: 

1. Leave me your most uplifting, motivating comments throughout the day.  Feel free to come out of hiding.  I know you’re there and I would love to hear from you even if you are a complete stranger or a long lost friend or family member.  Are there such things as strangers in blogdom?   
2. At my bedtime tonight I will do a random draw. I will post the winner and the after pictures tomorrow.  Just send me an email with your address and I will get your gift card and chocolaty delight sent out ASAP. (nataliekidd@cox.net)

***All participants must live in the continental U.S. of A.  Sorry to all of my readers in Brunei and Tokelau.  Maybe next time…

A Special Note Of Thanks

Dear Martin Luther King, (or do your friends just call you Martin?)

I just wanted to send you a quick thank you note to let you know of the happy day that I had yesterday, all because of you. 

The celebration of your birthday began for us on Sunday.  After church (which lasts until the very unholy hour of 5:00p.m.) we headed to Gogo and Papa’s for dinner and fun times with aunts, uncles, and cousins.  We weren’t in a hurry to rush home because it wasn’t a school night, all thanks to you!  We then headed over to Oma and Papa’s house to drop off the older three monkeys to begin a sleepover.  They were so excited to see both Grandmas and both Papas in one night, and to stay up way past their bed time.

On Monday morning, I began the mother of all projects that has been hanging over my head for about 2 years now.  I went through every magazine that I have been saving because it contains something special and ripped out the pages of inspiration and recycled the rest of the magazines freeing up tons of space in my brown wicker baskets and junk room.  As I ripped the pages out, I sorted them into categories so that my inspiration notebook would be as organized as the day is new.  Categories:  Floral Design, House Plant Care, Recipes, Great Ideas That Would Make My Life Easier, Craft Projects, Holidays, and finally, Interior Design Inspiration. And Martin, in honor of your special day TLC was having a marathon of one of my very favorite shows, Jon and Kate Plus 8.  And HGTV was also having a marathon of another of my viewing favorites, House Hunters.  So not only did I organize to my heart’s content, I had viewing pleasure all the while.As the day wound down, my two older kids were treated to a Martin Luther King BBQ with friends and Lennon stayed home and yelled at me.  That wasn’t your fault.  I just thought you should know.  Ryan even popped in a time or two yesterday so I got to see his handsome face as he stuffed it with Trader Joes spinach artichoke dip and flax seed vegetable tortilla chips before he disappeared into the oblivion that is studying for a test. He has been absent (almost completely) for a couple of weeks now, so that was really a special treat!  (Ryan’s face and the spinach artichoke dip).  After the kids got home from the barbeque, and showered they even had time for snuggles and stories.  Another rare treat!Anyways, Martin, I can’t thank you enough for having dream.  For because of yours, mine too came true.  Mine wasn’t near as world shifting as was yours, but my dream of a quiet house, good television, no school, spending a minute with my husband, being incredibly (for me) productive, and snuggling my babies finally came true. 

Thanks again!

Your ever grateful friend,

Nat

Thank You Markus Zusak

Have you ever read a book that makes you silent with respect for awhile after reading it?  I just did.  I was about half way done with it this morning and almost didn't finish it because I was feeling a little bit stressed out by it.  I called Ahlena this morning and made her tell me (not in detail) what happened to each character. Doing so made me comfortable with the uncomfortableness of the book.  

It is a beautiful book.  My senses all feel heightned.  My spirit more alive. My heart more grateful. My words too simple.  I do love a good book.

The following is a test of the Emergency Dish Washing System. This Is Only A Test:

***the following pictures were taken as I noticed that my dishwasher was COMPLETELY empty. And My sink completely full. Does ANYONE know how place a dish in the dishwasher???

This is a test of the Emergency Dish Washing System. The mothers of your homes in voluntary cooperation with the MUIC (Mothers United In Cleanliness) and other authorities have developed this system to keep you informed in the event of an emergency.

  If this had been an actual dish Washing emergency the attention Signal you just heard would have been followed by official instructions.  You may have been instructed to actually load a dish in the dishwasher after eating upon it and possibly may even be asked to rinse the dish.      

 This test has been in cooperation of the MUIC in your area.

Note:  Additional testing systems are being set in place by the MUIC. They are including, but not limited to:  toilet flushing "emergencies", food and/or beverage spillage "emergencies", and (this one is controversial in some states and branches of the MUIC) picking up your clothes after you bathe or otherwise, for any reason, disrobe "emergencies".

This has been a test of the Emergency Dish Washing System. Thank you for your participation.

They'll Fight About Anything

In our car we have one rule.  If you pass gas, make a parental figure aware so that the car can be properly aerated.  There need not be discussion about the grossness, or any other aspect of the gas passed.  Just kindly inform us before we all get socked in the face with an unexplained stench.  So this morning we were driving to school when the following conversation took place.

Piper: Mom open the windows, please.  I tooted.

Lennon: (shrieking) No you didn’t!!  I did!!!  Mom!! Piper said that she tooted and I did it!!!

Piper:  Lennon, it was me!

Lennon:  Nuh uh.  I did the toot!!!

Mom:  Girls, you both could have passed gas. 

Lennon: Piper’s lying! 

Piper:  Lennon, why would I lie about tooting?!!?

Mom:  Knock it off you two.  You both did it.  The window has been rolled down.  End of discussion.

Piper: (under her breath) Well, I did it first.

Lennon: (under her breath) I did it first.

Crayton: (shakes his head, rolls his eyes and quietly says to himself in unbelief) I can’t believe that they are fighting about a fart.  

Read This In Your Best English Narrator Accent

If I may, let me tell you a little story.

Once upon a time there was a fair (so fair, in fact, some have called her albino) maiden and a tall, dark and handsome young prince.  They met on a blind date and quickly fell in love.  Fortunately for the fair maiden her love of ketchup, particularly on Mexican food, wasn’t discovered by the young prince until he had already become smitten by her womanly charm and ever witty ways.  He couldn’t imagine his life without the maiden even though he strongly disliked her love of ketchup.  And so it was they wed. 

The handsome prince’s family discovered her love of ketchup when they, along with the prince and maiden, all gathered together at Fajita’s to dine.  The fair maiden quietly asked the waiter if they had ketchup.  The waiter seemed a little confused.  As though no one had ever in the history of Fajita’s asked for ketchup as a side item to accompany their chicken fajitas.  The flustered waiter quickly ran back to the kitchen, retrieved and dusted off a bottle of ketchup for the maiden and upon his return, the teasing began.  The family teased and teased and teased until finally they found an outlet for their teasing.  The outlet was to be called Christmas.  Each Christmas from that year forward the fair maiden was presented with ketchup as a token of the family’s love for her.  Actually the first Christmas, it was purely to taunt.  Each of the handsome prince’s siblings presented her with a bounty of ketchup each wrapped ever-so creatively and in every form imaginable.  Packets, bottles, cans, you name it.  After the first Christmas, the family’s gifting of the tomatoey goodness stopped by all of the siblings except one. The eldest sibling and his own fair maiden (probably the fairest (albino-est) of them all), along with their offspring continued the gifting of the ketchup each and every year faithfully.  As tradition goes, the first gift to be opened on Christmas afternoon when the family gathers is always by the second fairest maiden and is always ketchup.  Each and every year the family gifts the maiden with an abundance of ketchup.  Each and every year the family puts an abundance of thought and effort into the second fairest maiden’s gift.  Each year she is anything but disappointed.  The year of the homemade ketchup was delightful and thoroughly enjoyed by the fair maiden and her handsome prince, the year of the ketchup of the month club was also delightsome.  The year of the survey of all brands of ketchup ever introduced to man-kind was also great.  The maiden declared Heinz (preferably in packet form and at room temperature) the grand prize winner.  However, of all of the years of receiving ketchup this year’s bounty was the best.  The eldest sibling and his fairest maiden really outdid themselves and the fair maiden can’t wait to see what next year will hold.  Until then the fair maiden will continue to enjoy her frozen bean burritos, fajitas, and tamales with all manner of Kidds ketchup.  And her handsome prince will continue to be disgusted and sometimes even (like today while eating left over tamales made by the fairest maiden) ask the fair maiden to eat them elsewhere because he is getting sick to his stomach from watching.  And the fair maiden will tell him to eat elsewhere because it isn’t just the maiden that would have to move from the table now but two of their ketchup loving children as well.  And they continue to live happily ever after.

This years ketchup bounty in eldest to youngest order:

Kidds Manly Ketchup (since 1998)

Genuine Elk Flavoring in a Crue Proof Bottle

Nutrition Facts:

Serving Size: 1 bottle

Servings per container: 1

Calories: Who cares?

Total Fat: Not enough

Vitamins: Why?

Cholesterol: huh?

Total Carbs: YES

 Ingredients: Ketchup

Nat’s All Natural Ketchup (Since 1998)

Organic Heirloom Tomatoes Grown with Pure Yak Dung Washed with Glacier Water

Nutrition Facts:

Serving Size: 1 Chimichanga

Servings per container: Not enough

Calories: Enough to blog about

Total Fat: 0

Cholesterol: 0

Total Carbs: 0

 Ingredients: Carbon Neutral Tomatoes, organic spring water, Raw unprocessed sugar

Crayton’s Choice Ketchup (since 1998)

Full Transfat Ketchup Enhanced with Growth Hormones Made with Lard and Brownies

Nutrition Facts:

Serving size: Mas Grande

Servings per container: Mucho

Calories: 1,000,000,000

Total Fat: YES

Trans Fat: That’s the bad kind

Cholesterol: Heart attack’s Worth

Total Carbs: Enough to keep me dancing

 Ingredients: Lard, Rendered duck fat, overly processed high fructose corn syrup, growth hormones, cow snout, and end trails

Glamorous Ketchup (Since 1998)

Genuine Girliness Blinged out Bottle

Nutrition Facts:

Serving size: as much as I want

Servings per container: Good enough for me

Calories: Don’t count

Sodium: Does that mean salt?

Total Fat: Princesses don’t have fat

Trans Fat: That’s the bad kind

Cholesterol: what’s cholesterol

Total Carbs: I don’t know

 Ingredients: Too many big words

 

Sassy Ketchup

Recommended by Hella, Bella Becco Tamisha and Fresh Horn

Nutrition Facts:

Serving Size: just one drop

Servings per container: 100 cheddar sweets

Calories: “Doncha” wanna know?

Total fat: None. Look at me!!! Duh!

Cholesterol: see fat

Total Carbs: One F.I.T.

 Ingredients: Fairy dust, buttoned up lips, sassy spices, and oh yeah, tomatoes

 **No butt cracks were said, seen or used in the making of this ketchup

Big Noggin Ketchup

Backwash Resistant Safety Bottle

Nutrition Facts:

Serving Size: one diaper’s full

Servings per container: 40 diapers

Total fat: just around the middle

Cholesterol: toots worth

Carbs: 1 all nighter

Sugar: Aww Honey, honey

 Ingredients: Whatever food they give me

 Thank you eldest, wisest Wes.  Thank you fairest, creativeest loviest Laura.  Thank you offspring of Wes and Laura. I love you all!!!