Random Things Part Two:

Alright, let us continue with the riveting (ahem) discussion (one way) about myself.  

11.    I procrastinate like no one I have ever met.  Classic example:  1^st day of class in college, the professor (side note: he was an arrogant son of a gun) gives us our assignment.  It is to be done over the course of the whole semester.  It is our only assignment and has to be good. It is our WHOLE grade.  It is a 20 page paper (single spaced, little margins).  When did I start mine?  The night before at 7:00.  When did I finish?  About 8 minutes before class started.  What was my drug of choice to help me accomplish this feat?  Dr. Pepper. 

12.    I don’t, or actually didn’t, like soda (Utahans reading this sub “soda” for “pop”.)   Ryan has turned me on to Dr. Pepper and now pizza and Mexican food just aren’t the same without it.  Other than that, I drink water.  I can’t get enough. I love it and one of my biggest fears is being with out it.

13.    I have a severe phobia of bees.  There are multiple times that I have made a fool out of myself trying to stay away from them.  (rolling down a hill at Lake Pleasant because I had lost all control of myself and was flailing like crazy, weeping in my sister’s front yard because there was one on my leg, mooning Ryan’s extended family because one flew up my pants and stung my butt/thigh (it’s a fuzzy line between butt and thigh post children).  Just to name a few.  Believe me there have been more. 

14.    I blush really easily.  I hate it.  I am not even embarrassed and my face turns red and it makes people feel uncomfortable which makes me redder.  Or the best is when someone says (and someone always does) “oh my gosh, look how red you are…”  HATE IT.

15.    I don’t like finishing things.  For example:  I don’t like having the last bowl of cereal.  I feel like if there were bug eggs in the cereal, they would be at the bottom of the box.  I saw a Dateline or something once in my youth that said that all grain foods are chuck full of bug eggs.  I don’t like to finish bottles of shampoo or conditioner.  I feel like I am washing my hair with dregs.  No Dateline for that theory.  It’s all my own.

16.    I love law television.  Nancy Grace (while she is one of the more annoying people to grace this earth) is one of my favorite shows.  I love missing persons cases.  Natalee Holloway, Shandra Levy, Caylee Anthony, …I could go on.  I am completely into analyzing them.  I also love Unsolved Mysteries, Cold Case Files, Dateline, 20/20, American Justice…Just a side note:  Joran Vandersloot totally was responsible for the disappearance of Natalee Holloway.  I said it from day one.  Way before the confession.  I am also boycotting Aruba.  They have a corrupt judicial system. (I wonder if they will comment like the Harkins lady did and invite me for a vacation. I think that i might have to go. Just to witness the corruption first hand.)  And one final note, I am happy that Beth Holloway Twitty is (or was for a brief time) dating Jonbenet Ramsey’s dad.  It’s nice. 

17.    I hate hate hate eating noises.  If you are going to enjoy a banana, don’t do it by me.  Thanks. 

18.    I’m really good at rhyming but in question is my timing.

19.    I took to spitting when I started running in high school.  While I don’t run much anymore, due to bad knees, I still find occasion to spit.  Ryan loves that too.

20.    I hate onions.  Although, I have to say, I have become much more open minded about food in the last couple of years.  I have tried mushrooms (still hate them), avocados (love them), olives (still hate them), peppers (love them a lot), hummus (love love love), and many, many more things that I can’t think of right now. 

21.    The rain makes me so happy.  I have always loved it and still do.  The best is waking up to rain.  I just feel cozy, happy and ready to have a happy day.  I wish that it rained here more. 

22.    I love looking at baby animals.  Their mannerisms always remind me of my babies.  We have baby tortoises right now.  I do love them. 

23.    I don’t like watching the Food Network at all.  It makes me hungry and frustrated.  I can be totally fine, get one glimpse of a veal cutlet and my stomach growls.  I haven’t ever tried veal and I never will because I think that it is inhumane what they do to those poor babies.  But show it to me and I feel like I might die of starvation if I don’t get some beef right away.

24.    I don’t like to have bare feet while walking around.  While am stationery, I have to have bare feet.  Sleeping, bare feet. Watching television, bare feet, computer, bare feet.  But up and walking around, feet have to be covered.  October through March, slippers.  April through September, flip flops.

25.    I used to aspire to be a meteorologist.  I love all things weather.  In junior high I used to get up at 5:00 a.m. just to have time to watch the news and especially the weather.  Sean McLaughlin is my favorite meteorologist.  Al Roker, not so much.  Brad Perry makes me shiver.  Not in a good way.  In an annoyed way. 

 

Well, I did it.  25 fascinating tidbits about the mysterious Natalie Kidd.  If there were a 26^th thing, it would be that I wish sometimes that I were a little bit mysterious.  But alas, what you see is what you get.  If I have a feeling, I wear it on my sleeve, if I have something to say, I usually say it.  Anywho…thanks for humoring me.  It’s been a fun 25 things.  Now I am off to shower on my tippy toes and eat.  Just thinking about the beef got me growling.  

Random Things: Part One

I am about 2 years behind everyone (technologically speaking).  I have gotten tagged on Facebook about 77 times to do the 25 Random Things post.  I haven’t done it, partly due to my technological tardiness, and partly because I am not sure that I can think of 25 things that are worth my typing and your reading.  I have decided that it would be worth giving it a go.  It may end up being 7 random things about me but, hey, our motto around here is “you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.”  This is purely an exercise in self awareness.  You can stop reading right now if you’d like.  I won’t be offended.  Promise. 

  1.  I want to be a midwife when I grow up. 

2.  I hate the smell of food cooking in my home. Last night we had BLTs and I attempted to cook the bacon on the grill on foil.  After the fire department left (not really but I am surprised that they weren’t called on account of the billows of black smoke pouring from our back yard). We changed our dinner plans. We still had BLTs but we used the turkey bacon that I had in the freezer and not the yummy Apple Smoked Nitrite/Nitrate free yumminess from Trader Joes.  It was cooked in the back yard on the griddle.  The toast was also prepared in the back yard.  Two rounds of stinky bacon and 3 rounds of bread toasting and the house still smelled lavendary fresh. 

3.  I sometimes shower on my tippy toes just to see how my balance and coordination are holding up. I usually end the shower determined to do some core strengthening exercises.

4.  The core (not my weak unbalanced and uncoordinated core, but my emotional core) of who I am is very shy.  I was put in tutoring when I was in first grade because they weren’t sure if I was “slow” or way too shy for my own good.  It was the latter and I won every single contest in tutoring class.  Take that.  It is still a struggle to make myself attend large group functions. I’m working on it.

5.  I hate the word “shy”.

6.  I have well over 100 college credits.  I don’t even have an associates degree.  Nor am I sure if associates degree should be capitalized or have an apostrophe. 

7.  I am living my dream life.  Amazing husband, great kids, wonderful friends, etc… and finding that even dream lives are really, really challenging.  Did I say really, really?  I meant really, really, really.

8.  I get goose bumps really easily.  It just takes Zach making one winning shot on Saved By the Bell and I get all goose bumpy.  Ryan makes fun of me for this endearing trait. (p.s. i hate saved by the bell)

9.  I don’t like animal movies.  Air Bud?  Come on. 

10.  I am always 6 months ahead in my brain.  For example:  I am already feeling like (this coming) summer is over because we have a. b. and c. in March.  c. d. and e. in April, f.g. and h. in May. June will hold in store j. k. and l.  July makes my heart palpitate because I need to get ready for m. n. and o.  Then school starts again, which brings me to p. q. r. s. and t.  It’s no wonder that I forget every month that preschool tuition is due. “Live in the now, Natalie.  Live in the now.”  Yet another of my “weak things” (again, not referring to my physical core, or my emotional core, but my spiritual core) that I am trying to strengthen.

Well, that's all for today.  I know, tomorrow can't come soon enough.  I am riveting.

p.s. i don't know why my text is all screwy.  i've tried.  Emily?

I'll Have What He's Having, Please

This made me laugh. Thanks mom:).  if i weren't lame, i would know how to put a youtube video on my blog but i don't. so click. 

Ryan has a yearly black tie dinner for his work.  I go.  I like the people that he works with.  I talk.  Food's not bad. I eat.   So what is the problem, you ask?  If I am to go in appropriate black tie wear then I must shop.  These days, shopping is a rare occasion and unless I am at a store where I can find toilet paper, toothpaste, shoes for my whole family, get an oil change, and a haircut, all in one stop, then I don't go there. I go to other places rarely and only if I am shopping with a purpose.  I am finding it hard to get out to shop for this purpose of finding an evening gown/ish MODEST dress.  For those who don't know...I'm Mormon.  This means that I have funny undies that are a little bit trickier to keep covered up.  This past Friday Ryan and I purposefully shopped for awhile.  We determined that if I am to go to this function, then I may be forced to wear something Golden Girl-esque.  It seems that cap (or any at all) sleeves and covered cleavage just aren't "in" this season.  There is seriously NOTHING in between teenage hooker and Golden Girls bolero jacket.  Look out Bea Arthur, Betty White, and Rue McClanahan, here I come...

You Can Thank Me Later

**Pictures of Meagan and Shelbi taken from Heather Ives.

Two weeks ago, Ryan and I went out on a date.  Our nieces came over to babysit.  Before they came, I prepared a list of tasks, both mandatory, and mere suggestion.  Later (after we got home) Ryan read the list and told me that I was "a little much."  But do you know what I got for being "a little much"?  A clean pantry.  A clean under- stairs closet, a clean under sink cupboard.  A little tiny bit of lost pride (totally worth it!) and a lot of peace of mind.  And as an added bonus, I, for two weeks have been singing the hallelujah chorus every time I open the [clean] pantry, the [clean] under stairs closet, and the [clean] under stairs cupboard.  A special thank you to Meagan and Shelbi.  I don't know if you served me out of fear, hopes of monetary returns, or love but whatever your intentions, THANK YOU!!!  To everyone else, you are welcome to use my list.  I will paste it below.  You can thank me later. 

Things to know!

1.  They can play out back. Not out front.

2.  no computer

3.  dinner is taco soup.  Add sour cream, chips and enjoy.

4.  the kids, not Crue, need to shower tonight.  they can do it by themselves.  Piper and lennon shower together, crayton showers alone and none of them shower in my shower.  They know that, don’t let them tell you otherwise.

5. Crue will go to bed around 7-8.  If he is happy and playing he can go to bed closer to 8:00.  if he is fussy, earlier.  His bottle is made in the fridge.  Warm it up in a pot on the stove for a couple of minutes.  Feed him. Turn his humidifier on high.  Wrap him up tight and sing him a song.  Lay him in his bed and go out.  If he cries for more than 5 minutes, get him out. 

6.Crayton, Piper and Lennon can stay up until 9:00ish.  If they are fighting or whining or complaining, they are probably tired and can go to bed earlier.

7. keep the house cleanJ. 

8.if you get bored, feel free to use your organizational talents on my behalf.  Areas of particular concern:

*pantry (it’s bad) if you do it I will kiss your feet and post it on my blog. (ODS:7.39)

*Fridge (yikes!) (ODS: 5.7)

*under stairs closet (ODS: 3.3 feel free to take cleaning products out of there and move them somewhere more logical)

*linen closet upstairs in hallway (ODS: it’s a 1.5.)

*laundry room shelf and cabinets (the cabinets are all empty, feel free to maximize their storage space and fill ‘em up with logical laundry room things.  (ODS: 4.7)

9.  ryan’s cell phone # 911-9111    

          ******ODS= Organizational Difficulty Scale 1-10********

Just Another Saturday Night

To know me is to know that I delight in old people.  Senior citizens have always held a special piece of my heart.  I love them.  The older the better.   Except when they suck.  Which isn’t too often.  But last Saturday we had to try really really hard to stay positive and focus on the joy of our family when two of them tried their darndest to ruin our evening. (Just to give you an idea of their age, on the scale of seniority, they were babies.  Probably using their senior discount for only 3-5 years now.)

Ryan has been studying non stop for this test that he had to take for work.  Well, last week he passed it and in celebration and gratitude for the support and patience that the kids have offered him, Ryan told them that on Saturday, no matter what, we would take them to the movies.  Well, true to his word, we went and took in Mall Cop.  A movie advertised as a family movie, and rated PG.  It said the “A” word a few too many times for my liking in a kid movie but that is a different story.  So about 10 minutes before the movie ended, an ever ready, 15 year old Harkins employee by the name of Fabio taps me on the shoulder and whispers to me that he has received a complaint about my children being disruptive.  I smiled and told him that he must have been misinformed because my kids have been darn near silent during this whole movie going experience.  “Well, I am just telling you what I have heard, mam, and this is your warning.  If I have to talk to you again then we have to ask you and your family to leave.”  I was beyond shocked.  I am so overly paranoid about my kids being loud or otherwise disruptive that it usually borderlines on ridiculous. This night was no different.  I came prepared with a whole arsenal of snacks (some of them purchased at the theatre) I allowed them to stuff their gorgeous little faces during the whole movie.  They were so stunned by the amount of crap that they were being, not only allowed, but encouraged to intake that they didn’t make a peep.  As Fabio walked away, I looked up at the row above me and saw the special senior that issued an official complaint against our kids.  She was glaring at me with the purest intention to glare holes into my brain so as to open it up and suck out all of the secrets that my mind has ever dreamt of containing.  No such luck.  Those secrets are mine.  I have a tough skull and I glared my own holes in her eye sockets so that she would be blinded and trip on her way back to her seat ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE THEATRE.  She didn’t trip but I like to imagine that she peed a little. After the movie ended I told Ryan what had just happened.  He didn’t know about any of it.  He wasn’t very happy.  He did a little glance/glare up to the ever unpleasant couple.  They were sitting in their seats with the crustiest of expressions intended for our viewing pleasure. At that moment Crue started crying, for the first time mind you, and we realized that we didn’t have his binky.  He had dropped it.  I told Ryan that I would go down and ask Fabio (now that we are friends and all) to turn on the lights for us so that we could find it.  As I was talking to Fabio, he apologized and told me that it was just his job to talk to patrons when complaints arise and that he knew that they were probably being over sensitive and bla bla bla.  “Okay thanks Fabs.  Please turn on the lights.”  Then people started walking out of the theatre warning Fabio and the Theatre Sweeper In Training that there was about to be a fight in the theatre and that they might want to call for some help.  A couple of seconds later Sour Senior #1 came storming, and I do mean storming, out of the theatre with spit flying as she cursed and swore that she was demanding her money back.  Sour Senior #2 (the husband) came next following suit.  It was a pathetic showing, I tell you.  My kids (and Fabio and the Theatre Sweeper In Training) all stood there wide eyed and mouths gaping.  Ryan came next.  Apparently when I left the theatre to get the lights turned on, with Crue crying, Ryan thought that it might be educational to show them what a crying child really sounded like.  How can you educate unless you sit right down next to your students with your crying baby?  Needless to say, a war of words and unheard (by the senior citizens) logic ensued and Sour Senior #2 started dropping bombs that started with the letter “F”. (I am summarizing because my blog, like Mall Cop is rated PG).  It wasn’t pretty.  It left us all feeling a little bit shocked and disappointed.  I was determined to not end the evening on such a sour note.  So we talked to the manager (who had just given the Grumps 2 free movie passes) and told him what an excellent employee he had found in Fabio.  And that he handled himself with the utmost professionalism (as utmost as a 15 year old can).  The energy shifted a little bit and the negativity melted a tad. Then we talked to the kids about when it is appropriate to stand up for yourself and when you should walk away.  It was a good lesson.  It left me wondering though if I should take a course on Voodoo.  It’s on my list of things to do today to see if the local community college is offering one right now.  I wouldn’t really hurt the Baby Haters, but I would mess with their bowels.  I would fill them with Charity and explosive diarrhea, followed by bouts of uncomfortable gas with oily discharge.  So much for using their free movie passes.  Instead, they’d be home on the toilet wishing that they didn’t stink.  Is that too harsh?