Crue was born into the wrong family. Or should I say colony? The child is supposed to be residing in a colony where its residents are all void of clothing and inhibition in regards to nakey-ness. The moment we walk in the door from anywhere there is a trail of clothes and at the end of the trail is the cutest little bare bum you’ll ever see. Until you see it all. the. time. Which, at that point isn’t quite as cute as you once thought. Ryan, being tired of the constant “Crue, get your clothes on” Or “Crue I just put underwear on you 5 minutes ago! Go get them back on please” had this conversation with him the other day.

Ryan: Crue, please go get some clothes on. Again.

Crue: It’s fine dad.

Ryan: No buddy, it isn’t. If you keep being naked all the time, your privates are going to fall off. (desperate times call for unhealthy/disturbing threats around here. We call it ‘Parenting With Fear and Lack of Logic’)

Crue: Well, I would dist go get a-nudda (another) one.

Ryan: Where do you think you can just get another penis?

Crue: At the sto-uh (store). I would go in and say ‘excuse me, manag-uh (manager), do you seww (sell) penises he-uh (here)? And he would say ‘yes, we do suh (sir).’

Ryan: They don’t sell penises at the store, buddy.

Crue: Weww (well), hmmm… dat’s (that’s) okay. (shrug of the shoulders) I could dist (just) use duct tape.

And naked he remained. We need to up our game. Do you know of any ‘Parenting with Fear and Lack of Logic’ classes in our area? If not, don’t be surprised when you come to the door and are greeted by a smiling 3 year old proudly wearing his birthday suit.

***for the record, we aren’t too terribly concerned about his free spirit. All of our kids avoided (loathed) wearing clothes until they were about 4ish too… this too shall pass. And when it does, we’ll miss his cute little behind, but appreciate his new found sense of modesty.