I’ve given myself 5 minutes to sit here and write down whatever comes to mind. Brace yourself. Sometimes my filter gets really unpredictable when i’m in a hurry...
i’ve started running again. it feels so great and terrible. Best of times and worst of times. I’ve noticed that when i am running and focused on positive thoughts, the pain in my body almost completely disappears. I’m going to run the ragnar relay race in February. My leg of the race is a total of 17 miles or something like that. I look forward to finishing it and feeling really brave and strong. I almost didn’t commit. I almost thought of a lot of a million excuses why this isn’t a good idea for me. Bravery won out though and so the training has begun and the small victories are so sweet.
i’m up to just over 2 miles which is not very far. when i start thinking about how far i have to go to be able to accomplish this goal, i get discouraged and terrified but am reminded to focus on progress. on pace. i have so much to learn through this exercise of pace. so for now i celebrate my little successes. this passed (past? I never know) tuesday night, i ran the 2+ mile stretch and it felt really good. i was sweating like an NBA all star and breathing like an asthmatic kid who just went from couch potato to hiking the grand canyon with no preparation, but it felt good. i didn’t want to die at all. and not wanting to die is such a great feeling.
Also going on... i’ve been packing up to go to Big Bear California for fall break. Usually, for me the packing and prep wouldn’t start until tomorrow, the day before we leave. I’m a really accomplished procrastinator so i thought i would challenge myself and try something new. I started packing early this week. The kids were all packed by tuesday. Food is almost all purchased. yesterday I baked a quadruple batch of pumpkin muffins, a double batch of special interest cookies, a double batch of freezer burritos, and dinner for yesterday. So, i have a bit of food prep to finish up but i am getting the food packed today. I don’t know if there is global cooling going on in hell or something but we don’t leave for days and i’m almost ready to go. So, maybe it’s close to the end of days or something because this has never. ever. happened. Get your generators out folks and hunker down.
On a (un) hilarious note: I wonder if true shifts are going on around here. We’ll really be able to tell if Ryan can hold his tongue when we are packing the car. Usually he says things like “babe, why didn’t you do _______ like this (his way)? (like 20 times)(when he has been working like a crazy person and hasn’t been home at all and has been unable to participate in preparing for this trip in any fashion.) (which really is fine and i am so grateful for his hard work, just not his “suggestions” after the packing is done and we are walking out the door.) Or when he says “We don’t need any creature comforts in the car. Put your pillows and blankets back!” Wherein i object and get mad because we then spend at least 1/2 of any car ride listening to really tired kids yearn loudly for a pillows and blankets. I’ve got it down to being ticked for only 20-60 minutes tops though. I have also learned that i can’t stay mad while i’m listening to Don Williams so i need to remember to pack my cd. I also like earplugs on car rides. Love her or hate her, but i learned that trick from Kate Gosselin. anyways, Ryan’s lucky that i’m so self aware... (and by self aware i mean that i know i get mad about stupid stuff before we go on trips)
Crue is home from school today. He has been diagnosed with Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome. What is that you ask? I’m not totally sure. I know it involves cycles of vomiting in the form of a syndrome. It‘s a wonder i’m not a doctor. it really is. I do know that it is usually caused by abdominal migraines. Which cause pain in the tummy and are different from plain old tummy aches in ways i don’t understand. More information to follow when i know what i am talking about. All i need to know today is that Crue is home, his symptoms are very mild this time (hallelujah), and having him here makes me happy. He still says the best stuff and hardly ever argues. Just begs for food, which if i am being completely honest, is the one thing i don’t miss while he’s at school all day. Feeding that kid is exhausting.